Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It was the movie poster of James Bond film, “No Time to Die” that triggered a warning in her head. Hasna had known Raghav for the last 2 years she had joined the same office where he worked. He was a senior but didn’t behave like one. He was a happy-go-lucky guy who went out of the way to help a colleague irrespective of their standing in the office. His behavior both in his professional and personal life was albeit the same – of a kind, caring, and helpful person.
But today, she felt something pinch her heart as she casually saw his WhatsApp status. This wasn’t like him. Raghav wasn’t into movies. She had always seen him politely decline requests from colleagues to join them for movies or parties. He was more into old Hindi songs. So why did he put up such a cryptic status, she wondered aloud.
She casually walked up with two cups of steaming black coffee to his desk. He gave her a broad cheerful smile as she handed over one cup to him. He gestured for her to sit down as he turned his chair around to face her properly.
“That’s sweet of you, Hasna.”
She could see a genuine respect for her on his face. “Thought I could do with a coffee break.” She leaned over and whispered, “Say, are you free for lunch today?”
He was a bit taken back by her abrupt question but next moment composed himself with a cheerful laughter. “Hey, take it easy Hasna. I’ve got my lunchbox with me today.”
“Oh. Wait, maybe you and I can share your lunchbox in the office canteen.”
“That will be wonderful. The boys will surely love your company.”
“Oh no. I was thinking more of just you and me Raghav.” She said with roving eyes.
He leaned back and looked at her momentarily without taking his eyes off her.
“Hasna, I appreciate your company but you know I always eat with the boys.”
“Oh, never mind.”
She got up, smiled sweetly at him, and extended her hand. “See ya around.”
He took her hand in his and warmly shook it. For a fleeting moment, her eyes lingered on their clasped hands. His hand felt so warm and friendly. He seemed to sense some desolation in her and smiled encouragingly at her.
“Hey, all okay with you Hasna?”
“Couldn’t have been better Raghav, couldn’t have been better.” She smiled back. “But you never know…” she trailed off and walked back to her desk. “Seems everything’s okay with him,” she thought to herself but deep down in her heart, she felt something amiss. She could feel it.
She didn’t blame him for not having lunch with her alone. After all, her reputation preceded her. She was known to be a loud-mouthed bitch always trying to seek attention. But today, she knew Raghav needed attention. And then it hit her hard. Yes, there was something amiss in Raghav’s life.
That evening after office, she chased down Raghav as he walked out of the office building. He gave high fives to his male colleagues, politely smiled at the females, and walked over to his bike. She followed him.
“Hey buddy,” she called out casually. “Care to give me a lift home?”
He turned around with a surprise. “What’s with you today Hasna?”
“Nothing. Guess, I’m kinda feeling lonely today.” She replied with a straight face.
He laughed. “You of all the girls in the office should say that?”
She felt his words pierce her heart but she controlled herself. He sensed it too and quickly reached out to take her hand in his.
“Hey, I am sorry. I didn’t mean in that sense.”
She looked him in the eyes. “How can someone be so nice and caring? Is he for real?” She thought to herself.
Instead, she took both his hands in his and said, “You spent a lot of time saying goodbye to your colleagues today but not me. Why?” She let go of his hands and leaned back against a car parked adjacent.
“It’s nothing like that Hasna. I…”
“Shhh… how about we talk over a drink? I know a place nearby…”
“I don’t drink.” His face looked flushed as he said this.
“I know. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have given away those couple of expensive bottles of whiskey today. Boy, what a sad waste of good whiskey. The boss wouldn’t like it that you gave his gifts away to someone else.”
“Oh, you saw that?” Once again he appeared flustered.
“Of course. Giving away such expensive whiskey bottles to those who don’t appreciate good whiskey. I hate that.” She put an arm around him. “Trust me, I know good whiskey when I taste one.”
She had convinced him to join her at a lounge nearby. This was his second visit to a place where they served liquor. The first was in his college days. He was definitely far away from home.
She took a sip of her drink and let out a huge sigh. “Nothing beats like a sip of fine malt whiskey.”
He kept silent and just looked at her, twirling his glass of mocktail absently.
The place was getting packed and the din was unbearable with the loud chatter of the crowd and the music mixed. But for her, his silence mattered the most. There was no telltale sign that anything was wrong with him but yet she had seen it in the office as she shook hands with him. To say it was revealing was an understatement.
His shirt cuffs had got pulled up a bit and she had noticed what seemed to be scars as if he had tried to cut his wrists. She had been ignorant of him all these days and months preferring those guys who showered all their attention on her. He was different. Decent, sober, respectful, kind-hearted, and most of all a jovial person. And yet, he was not what he was portraying to be. He seemed to live a dual life – the other life in a pit of desolation and misery.
She set her glass aside and leaned over to take his hand in hers. He squirmed uncomfortably as she locked her eyes with his. She raised his left hand brought it closer to her face and gently kissed the back of his hand.
“Please Hasna, don’t do this.” He pleaded uneasily, trying to pull back his hand.
She held on to his hand firmly and then turned it around to plant a kiss on his palm. She then pushed his shirt cuffs up a little, her eyes still firmly on his, a smile on her face as she kissed the scars on his wrists. She let her lips linger for a long time on his scars.
And the tears trickled down. His eyes did the talking as he stared at her knowing that she sensed what others didn’t. She saw what others didn’t. For a moment, he felt betrayed. He felt ashamed of himself for having let go of his guards as he cried silently. She let him cry. He needed that space, he needed to do it.
That night, they spent together, sitting on the promenade watching the waves crashing against the walls, trying to break free. But its destiny lay in the mighty ocean.
She held on to his hands gently. No words were spoken but he realized she was there for him. She too felt like a different woman. For a change, she wasn’t the attention seeker. She was the one giving attention where it was needed the most.
She didn’t have to ask him about who, what, or why about his problems. She knew she may not be able to provide him with solutions to his problems. But she knew she had given him the courage and conviction to fight his problems by just giving him some of her attention and time.

p.s. One just needs to see the telltale signs and reach out before it’s too late.

Discover more from Ineligible Writer

Subscribe to get the latest posts to your email.